I know, It's very hard to get out what you want to teach people when you're crazy, that's why we're here today. Socrates, Descartes (DAY-CART for those of you who don't want to sound like an idiot... although they'll still institutionalize you if you blabber about this stuff, so it really doesn't matter. Actually, they haven't gotten any of the teachers yet, and Socrates was the only one who was killed, so go ahead, blabble like an idgit.), Hylas, and Philonous, I have called you here today because, well you're crazy... If you weren't so talkative and would just get to the point people would like you more, I'm looking at you Socrates you old bat. So... This will be our first Session of crazy philosopher help group, where we will help you speak normally, be less cryptic, and help with your communication skills. No, Socrates, put down you're hand, there will be no dialogues.
What? Yes, Descartes, I know you developed the Cartesian Coordinates, no, you are not too important to be here. Anyway, as I was saying, maybe if you guys were a little less cryptic, and spoke less like you were being translated from ancient Greek or Latin, you would even get a date or two. *sigh* yes Socrates I do realize you had a wife and kids. There was a book written on her... No, I did not read her book... yes, I read yours, well, skimmed is a more accurate word it was so boring... probably why I didn't do so well on the LAST test. WHAT? no I'm here to help YOU guys, not get easy instructions on how to pass my next test! On the contrary, if any of you even think about trying to teach me something different than what I've memorized for the test, I'll stab you in the jaw....... OKAY! Descartes! Tell us about... Stuff!
Do I exist? What do you think? You don't know... great, well what DO you know?
'What? God exists. I know this simply because I am a finite creature and do not have the creativity to imagine an infinite being such as God who is perfect and good. What? No, God is an Evil genius, who told you he was good? No, I never said God existed, he doesn't exist... Oh you want to know why God exists? well God exists because God is perfect and existence is perfect therefore God exists... What? who told you God existed? You're all figments of my imagination you know, I couldn't think up God but I can think up friends to listen to me. What? No, no God exists, he's a triangle with two 90 degree angles don't you know?'
Well, congratulations on using plain and simple English... However, We need to work on you getting to the point a little faster, and only having one point on a subject at a time, that don't differ... anyway, Socrates, we'll talk about you next time okay? Socrates? GET BACK HERE! Stop having Dialogues with random people! This is not normal! Socrates!
As you can see I am now insane but at least I exist, or maybe I don't and you're all in my head. I made up the whole internet with videos and information and all of those good things... You can thank me now.
Also, my uncle just thought of this: did they put Descartes before De-horse?